Adhrucia, you have some sort of ability to always know the exact “kick in the pants” I need to get motivated about things. This is one of the many reasons I adore you.
“Buy The Secret on audio book and listen to it until you are done. Listen in your car, while you get ready, etc., but really LISTEN =) I think it will lead you far.
Then put the principals to act with all your being for AT LEAST one month – consistently. During this month please contact Shari Goldsmith and set up a meeting. Shari is a friend and I think that you two will be soul sisters. Shari has some insight into careers that involve compassion, understanding, positive energy, and helping people. She is putting together a challenge for you to help aid you in your path to discovery.
I think that one of your biggest strengths is that you are a compassionate listener who is able to come up with insight and solutions for those you care about. I would like you to put this into action because I think that following this strength and your compassion for working with and helping people will lead you to what you are meant to do in this world.” from my dear friend Adhrucia Apana.
Adhrucia and I got to know each other while we were Rho Gammas in college at UC. She was a Kappa and I was a Tri Delt. I remember one night we were at one of our Rho Gamma bonding sessions and we had this realization that we’re really not all that different and it was stupid that we hadn’t hung out before. From that moment on, we were instant friends. Over the years we have continued to build our friendship and whenever I need solid advice, a boost of confidence, a shoulder to cry on or someone to listen to me vent about whatever not-that-big-of-a-deal thing is bothering me at the moment, she is always there. (Usually with fabulous wine and a delicious assortment of cheeses.) Even if it’s 5 AM.
First of all, I am very touched that you feel this way about me, A. Sometimes I am reluctant to take your advice, but I usually come around in the end. I’ll be writing about my thoughts on the book today and in a month or so, circle back around to how things have evolved with Shari and the results of putting these principles in action.
Throughout this adventure, and knowing what challenges are coming down the pipeline, it is evident that many of the people that are close to me seem to know me better than I know myself. (You all also seem to think that I need to read self-help books…but whatever haha). I don’t know if it’s because I’m an open book and lay it all out on the table or if it’s because you all see something within me that I don’t immediately see within myself. Regardless, I am gracious for the faith and confidence you all have in me and I hope I make you proud.
So for the book…I was instructed to LISTEN to the audio version, which was great because my reading comprehension skills leave a lot to be desired. I downloaded it and began listening while I was running errands. I had my windows down cruising all over town, taking in all that The Secret had to offer. It’s a little uncomfortable when you come to a stoplight and have weird music playing in the background with an Australian woman’s voice spouting out things like “like attracts like” and “There is a truth deep down inside of you that has been waiting for you to discover it, and that truth is this: you deserve all good things life has to offer.” Insert awkward glance from neighboring drivers. I realized I was not really paying attention to the book so I needed to change my listening venue. I returned home, hooked Gus up to his rope in my front yard, popped my headphones in and listened to the entire remainder of the book while laying on my porch swing on, like, the most beautiful day I’ve seen in awhile. (BTW, my porch swing is my absolute favorite part of my house.) Perfection.
The idea of The Secret revolves around The Law of Attraction. For those that are unfamiliar, it basically says thoughts become things and that by focusing on positive or negative thoughts, one can bring about positive or negative results. I’m pickin’ up what you’re puttin’ down, but I do have a couple of issues with this statement. For starters, it says this works every time, all the time.
Gravity works every time, all the time. You drop something, it falls. It can be proven. It is a law. This is not a law. This is a belief. I will refer to this as the “Belief of Attraction” from this point forward.
People pray for things, wish for things, imagine or envision things that they want to happen. Hobby Lobby has made lots of money by selling various items necessary to make vision boards. Obviously, enough people believe in this phenomenon to make it work considering. I started thinking about the idea that if I want something to happen, I can will it to happen. It makes sense. This kind of ties in The Four Agreements that I read earlier in the year for my first challenge. It’s about changing your perspective on the situation. However, you cannot magically will things into existence.
One of the examples they use in the book is about losing weight. They say that if you want to lose weight, and continue to think about yourself and losing weight in a negative way, you will in turn, not lose weight. However, if you imagine your perfect size and continue to think positively about your perfect self, the pounds will just drift away, no matter what you do.
If you continue to eat the way you eat or incorporate little to no physical activity in your life, no matter how positively and consistently you think “110 pounds, 11o pounds…” you will not magically become 11o pounds. It’s science. I cannot will myself to be thin. You have to work for it and put in the effort to make serious changes in your life. I get the idea of thinking positively and how that helps inspire change, but it does not make fat disintegrate. Bottom line. I can see how if you envision your perfect self (which I think is also contradictory because they say you’re supposed to content and love your current self at the same time) it will change your attitude and motivate you to work toward achieving that goal.
There are truths to this book and then there are things that I find to be absolutely absurd. The book talks a LOT about money. In fact, love, money and perfect weight seem to be the only things this book thinks we need in life. Not sure that’s inspirational or appropriate, but I guess the people want what the people want.
There is this lady that loathes receiving bills in the mail. She says that she receives so many bills in the mail because all she thinks about every time she opens her mailbox is bills. She says that, in an effort to turn her perspective on the situation, she imagines that these bills are actually checks and adds zeros to the ends of each of them to trick herself into thinking she’s getting lots of money in the mail…..what.
Hey crazy lady, if you use things like electricity, water, credit cards, etc. you are going to have to pay for it. That’s the way the world works.
I guess the biggest lesson I have taken out of this “belief of attraction” is that remaining positive is the key. No matter what goal I’m trying to accomplish, it will not happen if I don’t believe in myself and in my ability to meet said goal. Yet there are still things that make me feel like there is some truth to this putting your thoughts out into the universe and waiting for the universe to answer thing.
A few examples:
Summer of 2011 when I was trying to get a job, I applied for hundreds of positions over like an 8 month period. One day, after a scoring an interview I was particularly psyched about I posted to Facebook the following post:
I started my new job at Powers Agency October 6th – not even 3 weeks after I positively decided that I would be working within the next 2 months. I put it out into the universe and it happened.
Another example: My iTunes library can read my mind and this is why I almost always leave it on “shuffle.” Some people meditate in their homes, in churches, in pleasant spaces, etc. I, however, go for drives. Whenever I have a lot on my mind, I get in my car, roll my windows down (regardless of the temperature), turn up my music, get on the highway and drive. I don’t need a destination because everything’s a circle around here, anyway. Now I’m assuming a few of my family members are cringing right now that this is my “me time,” but it works for me and I’ve been doing it for well over a decade. My iPod always plays EXACTLY what I need or want to hear on these drives. I have never understood it and probably never will, but the course of my thoughts, and whatever I’m trying to work out in my mind, is perfectly in sync with the jams pumping out of my car stereo. I would also attribute the many, many miles on my car to this activity. I took another drive after having read The Secret, just to see how different my thoughts were and it was actually a much more positive experience than it usually is. Instead of being pissed about something, I accepted that I had a feeling about it and thought about how I could change it and my attitude did a complete 180 – as did my music.
Another thing is how lucky I am. I think I have magic purses. This usually relates to cab fare, but whenever I need money, I reach into my purse and magically pull out almost exactly what I need. Sometimes I literally only have the exact amount I need in my purse. This happens ALL. THE. TIME. I also win things all the time and spread luck to others. I’ve been this way since I was little. This book says that people are lucky because they expect to be lucky. If I’m positively thinking that I am lucky and expecting to win things, according to this “belief of attraction,” then it makes sense that this happens.
I have plenty of other examples of how this could actually be something to pay attention to. The book suggests testing the theory with little things first. However, yesterday I was putting it out into the universe for Adhrucia to call me to talk about this and she did not do so. Fail.
I’ll try again tomorrow.
The last comment I have about this book is that I love the reflection of gratitude. One of the gentlemen carries around “gratitude rocks” in his pocket. He wakes up every day and starts by expressing what he is grateful for before he even gets out of bed. He does this before he falls asleep at night. Every time he touches the gratitude rock, he again repeats these things that he is grateful for. If you are constantly thinking of all the wonderful things, people and events in your life, how could you not be happy?
And so, I started my own gratitude list.
-I am grateful first and foremost for my family. This is not the first, nor the last time that I will address this. They have made me the woman that I am and raised me to be a happy, healthy, productive member of society.
– I am grateful for Gus – he has taught me so much.
– I am grateful for my health – though it could really be better.
– I am grateful for my laugh/sense of humor. It is contagious. It is one thing that no one can ever take away from me and it gets me through a lot of nervous/boring/difficult/sad situations.
– I am grateful for my friends. Some of you come and go, but you’re always there when I need you.
– I am grateful for my car because I’m pretty sure without the aforementioned drives, I’d be nuts.
– I am grateful for the blessings in my life that others are not so fortunate to have. I don’t always show it, but I am.
– I am grateful for the sun rising and setting each day because it’s almost always beautiful.
– I am grateful for my intelligence. I would really hate being stupid.
– I am grateful for the support and interest this little project of mine has generated. I have received comments from truly unexpected sources and it makes my day each and every time.
I have a meeting set up with Shari for next week and am truly looking forward to what she has in store for me. Adhrucia, I trust you and think you might be onto something. I mean, maybe the fact that we both miraculously ended up in Vegas at the same time has something to do with this…
Til next time!
I think the hardest part about this book is believing the things you have always known as your existence could change. Katie when you question the effect this type of thinking could really have on weight and if we can really think away pounds, or on riches, or the ability to wish away sickness it is hard to take seriously because these are things that you and I either struggle with or have seen people around us struggle with. These are the hardest perceptions to change.
But YOU are your own proof. The things that you have always taken for granted. Cash in purse, lucky at winning, perfect songs on your ipod you expect to be there. So it is easy to will them to keep coming to you. Changing your negative feelings about how hard weight loss may be, or how hard love may be, or how hard money may be etc etc is a daily struggle. I struggle with staying positive about the things I need to think of as easy not barriers every single day. It’s not something you can change overnight.
Think of those around you who think of these “hard” things as easy and use them as your proof. Do they struggle to loose the next pound or with what to order at a restaurant, do they seem to always be in love and in an amazing relationship?, do they always seem to be multiplying their wealth with out even trying?
Keep working and truly believing that life is full of magic and belief can change reality. If nothing else it will keep you young at heart. =)
Just like you have your examples others have theirs, but if you can struggle each day to change your thoughts on these things that have always been hard in your life to things that you just KNOW are going to be easy…. it will make achieving those goals a lot easier. Perception is 90% of reality. I leave you with a bunch of Einstein quotes =)
“Imagination is more important than knowledge.”
“A person starts to live when he can live outside himself.”
“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.” – Albert Einstein